More Than a Baby Update {The Stirrings of My Tired Heart}


In the jumble of diaper blowouts and feedings every 2-3 hours…in the confusion of swaddle or no swaddle, schedule or no schedule…in the tears of long nights and in the multiple coffee cups of early mornings…my soul is stretching.

My tired heart is stirring with things old and things new, emotions welcome and emotions feared, worries voiced and unvoiced.

Abigail Nichelle arrived in all her screaming glory in early April – just as the springtime buds were making themselves known – and I realized then and there that I don’t have a clue what I’m doing. I don’t know how to be a mother. I don’t know a thing about diaper creams when it comes to my own crying baby or a notion about how to incorporate peace into 24-hour periods gone haywire. Days and nights blur together right now.

I love being a mother, but I’ve never been…

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As prepared as I was for IVF…..

Oh and by the way, I just realized that I will have a baby in my arms in exactly 3 months since they will be inducing me a week early. And I am not prepared at all………