Betas

A timeline update:

11/8/13: Egg Retrieval

12/13/13: 6 day Frozen Embryo Transfer

12/20/13: Positive Home Pregnancy Test!!

12/23/13: Beta number was 132!

12/26/13: Beta number was 372! (Beta numbers are supposed to double every 48 hours)

1/3/14: First Ultrasound

I have peed on 7 HPT and all have been strong lines.  I still get nervous, so peeing on those sticks gives me a bit of comfort.  I finally feel like I can let myself feel pregnant.  I have bought a few books and downloaded apps to let myself track and research.  I was always too afraid to let myself think about this part.  I’m just so thankful to be here and be pregnant.  I have been chugging water as much as I can, I’m still on the crinone gel and the estrace pills.  I stopped my anti-depressants and I am trying to be better by eating little to no processed food.  I haven’t really had any symptoms, but I have been EXTREMELY fatigued almost every day.  It’s a struggle to even keep my eyes open at work, when riding in a car, or just sitting on the couch at christmas.  I just fall asleep.  I have never been the type to be able to fall asleep easily.  Luckily, my boss has let us leave an hour or so early this past Monday, Thursday and Friday so I was able to run home and catch as many naps as possible.  I have been peeing a lot, but I have also been drinking a lot of water!  I try to stay unstressed as much as possible.  I even have a heating pad at work that I use on my tummy when I’m in stressful times so that my stomach muscles don’t clench and I stay relaxed.  I’m also staying away from sex and self loving.  That is a tough one.  Even when I had to give up cigarettes and alcohol, at least I had my hubby and or vibrator!!  TMI but it’s what’s been on my mind lately lol.  

I hope you all have a great new year with many BFPs for everyone 🙂

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And my beta is…..

132!!!!

 

2013: Year of Infertility Treatments

January: IUI #1 = BFN

February: IUI #2 = BFN

March: IUI #3 = BFN

May – June: IVF #1 = BFN (Cancellation due to OHSS)

July: Surprise! Major Back Surgery

September: Switched Reproductive Endocrinologists

October – November: IVF #2 Fresh Transfer: BFN

December: IVF#2 Frozen Embryo Transfer = …………………….BFP!!!!!!

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I cannot express how shocked we BOTH were to see those 2 lines.  But most of all, we were grateful and excited.  I have NEVER seen a second line.  I even rechecked the directions a few times to make sure I wasn’t fooling myself.  I thought it was a really vibrant dream!  But it is real.  I have my beta test in the morning.  For the first time, I am not dreading it.  Now I have tested 2 more times and the same result.  I’m not sure when I won’t want to test again and again, every morning.

This is the only thing I wanted for Christmas.  And talk about an amazing Birthday gift for my hubby (Dec. 24th).  I’m pregnant.  I am pregnant.

We aren’t telling anyone other than my immediate family and our closest friends at work who already knew about the IVF.  After all that I put them through, they deserve to be in on the good news 🙂  I think my 2nd trimester starts on Feb. 13 so we will announce on Valentine’s Day 2014.  My due date, according to my transfer date, is August 31st 2014!

P.S. – This news is a miracle and I know how lucky I am.  Whenever one of my fellow bloggers announced her BFP, I was always very happy for them but also sad and jealous, just a tiny bit!  But at the same time, I also told myself that I WANT to see others get their BFPs because that means that it is possible for anyone, including me.

6dp6dt

Well, I peed on a stick and it flashed a big fat “Not Pregnant”. I know it is early, so I am not too crushed by the result. But right now, I can’t even imagine what it’s like to see an actual positive. I couldn’t even visualize it when I was staring at the little test. I can’t picture myself with a big beautiful baby bump. I can’t imagine holding a little tiny baby that is all mine in my arms. I can’t see it. I don’t know if I have ever vividly seen it. I want it. I know I do. But I just can’t visualize it or dream about it. I don’t want to have a defeated attitude. I know it is still very possible that I am pregnant, but I feel nothing. No twinges, no nausea, just nothing. 

Frosty Day, Frosty Transfer

My frozen embryo transfer is this morning. My bladder is full and I am nervous. I have been through a transfer before, but I’m still nervous. I am in a shared room this time with one of the ladies I always see in the waiting room at the re office. There is just a curtain separating us. She is here for a donor embryo transfer and her father is with her. She is ten years older than me. I realize how lucky I am. I have my loving and funny husband right here holding my hand. So I am trying to not giggle or be cutesy just out of respect for her. I couldn’t imagine going through this without my hubby. She must be very strong and want this.

I am nervous. Still hopeful. And quite happy. I believe that today will be a good day. We are going to experience Christmas in downtown Chicago.

**Update**

Want to hear something so funny it’ll make you pee your pants? I peed on the transfer table right before my FET………

I had already let a little out while I was waiting, I have good stopping power. But I guess I drank too much because once I got to the room, I was in agony. The table had a wee wee pad on it. They are like a huge and flat maxi pad. So as soon as I laid down, I knew it was going to happen. There were several nurses in there and when I said I was going to wet myself, they tried to sit me up and that is when it happened! It was not ALL of it, I can stop it, but I guess that little bit was just not staying in any longer. I was mortified. I ran to the bathroom and let just a bit more out, since, you know, I kinda just left my embryo in the other room!!!! The nurses were all really sweet about it and had already changed the pad by the time I got back and the doctor didn’t even mention it. The one good thing about it is that my bladder was still full and I was able to lay down for 10 minutes afterwards which was my goal this time.

The embryologist said the embryo was of high quality and looked like it had never been frozen at all  That made me feel great! I was actually really worried about the thawing, but only because that’s the one part of IVF I hadn’t been through yet.

 

A Joke

Three ladies are in the doctors office, all three are expecting a little one.
Two of the three are talking to themselves but loud enough the third could over hear the first lady say ‘I was talking to my doctor and she told me that since I was on top at the time of conception, it will be a girl!’ The second lady gets instantly excitied and says ‘I must be having a boy then, that’s wonderful, I’ve always wanted that for my first child’. 
The third lady starts crying out loud, just completely out of control, the other two turn and ask what’s wrong 
Lady 3 says ‘I don’t want to have puppies!!’

 

So what will I have? lol