I’m thankful for……

I am very thankful for Reproductive Technology. I have realized how small of a chance my husband and I would have had trying to naturally conceive. I ovulated every other month or so due to PCOS and he has the male fertility issue. Neither of our issues are impossible to overcome with science.  I am so blessed to have health insurance that covers most of the cost for everything.

I have lost friends over this issue. People who thought they knew better than the doctors and that we were over reacting when I went to see a fertility specialist. The first OB who insisted I try for a full year after that appt and who would not even test me for PCOS even though I rarely had a period regularly. I am thankful for my own curiosity and googling expertise so that I could become an amateur expert on infertility treatments!

But I am mostly thankful for my family. My family is whole right now. My husband and I. Adding our baby to our family will be another blessing for Thanksgiving 2014.  

I am thankful for this blog and all of the new friends I have made here who have been here with me during my small joys and many freakouts.  Happy Thanksgiving to all of you and yours, love you all!

This is why I don’t share….

Sigh. We just told my in laws that we have been doing infertility treatments. We haven’t told them because his father can be kind of a jerk about these sorts of things and will constantly ask us when we are giving him grandkids. Including asking me if I knew that there is only a certain time a month a woman can get pregnant. (I KNOW!!!!!!) And tonight, his father did not disappoint. We didn’t go into detail about my husband’s sperm issues, but it didn’t stop my father in law from bragging about how manly his own sperm is and how he is the man, sperm knocking down doors blah blah blah. I almost flipped the table. My husband is not pumping with bravado and arrogance. He is gentle, kind, giving and all around an amazing guy. When my hubby went to get the car, I really let into my father in law, right in front of my mother, sister and brother in law. I told them I would not stand for the father treating and disrespecting my husband like that. I told them that it took a lot for us to share this and that he was breaking the trust by joking and teasing. Who knows if I got through. Oh, and I have to cook Thanksgiving for these people. Sigh…….Sorry, just got home and was still fuming. I just needed to vent 

Negative

Negative

The last half of my IVF cycle in one post……

1 Fresh Embryo :)

So here I am. 5dp5dt. 5 days past my 5 day transfer. I have been incredibly calm during this. And by calm, I mean not completely and obsessing over every little thing.

I had my egg retrieval on 11/8/13 after 18 days of stims. Menopur in the beginning to mature the eggs and then Follistim w/ Menopur and Ganerillex to grow the follicles and prevent ovulation. I then used a Lupron trigger on 11/6/13.

The egg retrieval went smoothly and VERY quickly. 39 eggs total. They called me the next day to let me know that they did half normal IVF (they just put the eggs and sperm in a petri dish and let them mingle hoping for “natural” conception): 2 out of 20 fertilized. And half they did ICSI (they insert the sperm directly into the egg with a needle): 10 out of 19 fertilized. So, if we end up needed IVF again, we would do all ICSI. 12 total embryos on 11/9/13

My clinic was not as prompt and on it with the Embryo reports. I had to call out to them for the reports. The nurse would just tell me that no news is good news if she didn’t hear from the embryologist. I am a person who needs a lot of info and detail, but I didn’t want to push too much.

EMBRYO TRANSFER DAY:
11/13/13. I arrived with a partially full bladder at 8:00am as instructed. My appt was for 8:30a, so I kept drinking water. They had me in the patient room in my gown….waiting. OMG did they keep me waiting. I HAD A FULL BLADDER BY 9AM!! Like full ready to burst, yet the pregnant doctor/assistant/nurse/I dunno what she was but she kept telling me to hold it. Now, I consider myself a very strong person. I had back surgery to remove a herniated disc and could not walk for 5 days before the surgery BUT I STILL FOUND A WAY TO PEE (on my stomach on all fours). This was worse. Worse because there was no one to be angry at. And, well it friggin hurt! The nurse/pregnant doctor ACTUALLY asked if I wanted a magazine to distract me. She retreated when she saw my glare. I ended up holding it for 2 HOURS! I was sobbing in the end. Sobbing because this wasn’t like a steak that the chef was taking to long. I couldn’t yell at anyone, I had to be patient and be in pain. I was a hot mess. But I knew there were ladies ahead of me waiting for the same thing I was, the next big step in IVF. Pretty much the last one in the IVF cycle. Plus, I was in this pain for a reason. A wonderful reason. So I squirmed, whined, cried and grunted, but I got through it. I don’t know how, but I did.

I actually saw one of the ladies that I always see in the waiting room in the mornings waiting for the b/w and u/s every morning and I was happy for her. Still wanted her to hurry up lol. The doctor came in and let me know that he was going to transfer the best embryo which ended up being a Grade 2. Which is good 🙂 Out of the total 12 embryos, 5 made it to day 5 and the Grade 2 was an early blastocyst. The RE wanted to wait another day or so to make sure he was freezing viable embryos that will survive the freeze.

The actual transfer was very quick. Doesn’t help that I had to PEE LIKE A PREGNANT RACEHORSE! My hubby was already in scrubs and sat behind me holding my hand. The RE showed us on the screen my HUGE bladder and my uterus. He then explained what would be happening. He said we would see a long, thin white line and then a shooting star. And that is exactly what we saw. It was beautiful and meaningful. I wasn’t expecting my hubby being able to be in there so that made it all the more wonderful. He then gave me the print out that you see above! He was full of surprises. I hugged this picture and somehow immediately referred to the embryo as “She”. Not sure how or why, especially since both my husband and I honestly have no preference. The doctor had already explained to me that the embryo and my uterus were like fruit inside a jello mold. Wasn’t going anywhere. Nothing strenuous of course. So I made a beeline to the bathroom! Ass hanging out of my gown, I didn’t care, I had to go and I was determined not to wet myself. We then went back to the room to rest for a while.

We went to breakfast and then made plans to go to the Museum of Contemporary Art. Yeah….we fell asleep when we got home to change clothes.

They finally let me know on 11/15/13 evening that one embryo made it to freeze. That made me extremely happy.

We have been doing the estrace and progesterone gel vaginally since the retrieval. I say we because my hubby is the one in charge of that 🙂 He is a good man. Plus we have to be abstinent for 15 days, so that’s the only action he is getting LOL

My beta will be on 11/22/13, this Friday. Same protocol as the IUI’s. We will pack overnight bags and book a cheap hotel room online. Good news or bad, we can just be alone and on a mini vacation. They will call with the results in the afternoon. I will make sure not to listen to any messages until my hubby has picked me up and probably not until we get to the hotel room.

I am (probably not) going to POAS (pee on a stick) before the beta test. I don’t think I did with any of my IUIs and I think I can stick it out for 4 more days. There are positives and negatives for both.

I am very nervous and I am trying to keep my mind off of everything. I have been in a quite pleasant mood. It’s amazing how great you feel when you are not pumping yourself full of hormones 🙂 I have had some constant cramping since day 2 after the transfer. I am also very fatigued. Like in the middle of the day for no reason. And I know that both of these can be pregnancy symptoms as well as side effects from the progesterone. Today is a new sensation, a sort of tugging in my lower lower abdomen. I am holding my tummy a bit just because I know someone is in there and I and sending them all of my love. It scares me and thrills me to do this.

I will announce the results on Friday. Please pray for me and or send me your good sticky vibes.

Eggsellent Conversation

The RE purposefully did half IVF and half ICSI. That was something he discussed in our first meeting with him. I’m so glad he did because my previous RE never mentioned it. 

I called my mother and she said that our eggs and sperm are acting like us in real life. My eggs were kinda bitchy and my hubby’s sperm were laid back.

Sperm: Hey, can I come in?
Egg: Why?
Sperm: I dunno. It just feels right.
Egg: That’s not a “great” answer. Plus I wish you could be a tiny bit more romantic. (Secretly hoping he would push back and fight for me)
Sperm: Eh, you are right. I’ll come back later (most laid back sperm ever!)

1 day post retrieval

And I just got the call!

39 egg retrieved
ICSI – 10 out of 13 fertilized
IVF – 2 out of 20 fertilized

12 EMBRYOS!!!!

We are transferring 1 embryo and will freeze the rest!

Day 5 transfer for this Wednesday and they will call me Monday night with final grading information and the time for the transfer. 

Beta on the 22nd of November!

Apparently this clinic does not take pictures of the embryos, and I was a little sad to hear that, but I’m more thankful than anything for the rest of the amazing news!

Egg Hunting

My egg retrieval is today! Hooray!

Update:

I got 3 bakers dozen! 39 eggs 🙂

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