Day 3 of Stims

Day 3.  I do not feel many if any side effects.  Tired, but I also have been going to bed super late.  On the emotional side, sigh.  I don’t know what it is.  I’m not in a depression, just more of a fog.  I just can’t connect with my hubby.  It’s like I’m watching a movie about him and can only see him from afar.  I don’t think this is because of infertility or because of any issues between us.  It’s been like this since the surgery.  It was not easy on either of us, emotionally or physically.  When I am in pain, I get angry and we both hurt a lot during that time.  The love was there the entire time and I know we are stronger now because of all of it.  Many couples would not get through what we did.  I am very thankful for our love.  But I wish he was stronger.  I am the caretaker of everyone in my life.  And I am okay with that.  But when I was incapacitated, there was no one to completely take over for me.  To carry me.  I guess I haven’t gotten over that.  I haven’t reconnected with my hubby since then.  We are still connected, but I just mean on that level before.  I feel like I am still in this far away fog.  I see his love and I feel the love for him, I just need to bring myself to the present and enjoy it.  I think we need a weekend getaway with an electronics fast.  Just us, and no other worries.

Honestly, not even sure how much I have thought about the IVF.  I feel distant from that too.  I think I am avoiding the hope feelings.  I still hope and believe that this time, it will work and I will get pregnant.  I just try really hard not to dwell on it.  I instead try to focus on things that I can sort of control.  Researching the meds I’m on and what others have done for success.  But I haven’t thought about baby names, clothes, furniture, adorable chubby cheeks.  I just can’t let myself.

I’m okay, just a bit melancholy because everyone at work is in a shitty mood and no one talks to me.  It’s like high school all over again, except I didn’t flirt with anyone’s boyfriend, so I don’t get understand the cold shoulder.

So ANYWAY!  Does anyone have any experience with Menopur and IVF?  Did it work for you?  How long did you stim for?



Right after this post, I decided I couldn’t sit at my desk any longer, I needed a walk.  So I did.  Across the street from my job, they built a Petsmart and a Buy Buy Baby.  It opened right at the beginning of my fertility treatments.  I could never bring myself to go in.  I always see the stay at home expectant moms rushing in and out.  Sometimes with kids already in their arms.  For some reason today (Maybe it’s because I’m in Chicago and it’s like 40 degrees here and I was FREEZING), I decided to go in.  I needed to conquer that fear, that superstition.  So I did.  Then I got self conscious because I didn’t even have my purse on me and I wasn’t looking for anything in particular.  Just browsing.  Browsing what could be.  Browsing what could already be set into motion.  I didn’t fully imagine it all, but I did let myself enjoy the feeling of what may happen.  The happiness, the joy, the shopping!  I just let myself enjoy it.  I stayed for about 10 minutes and then quietly slipped out.


3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. jonsie13
    Oct 22, 2013 @ 12:11:06

    I used Menopur in combination with Follistim and they seemed to work very well for me. I was light on the side effects and only stimmed for 10 days before I triggered. On an IUI cycle I used Bravelle and it took 22 days. And the side effects were terrible! Just ask my coworkers! So for me, this felt like a breeze! Good luck!


  2. ecutri
    Oct 22, 2013 @ 12:21:16

    I used Menopur, although the fresh cycle was a BFN our embryos went further than the first two cycles, we actually had 3 high quality blasts to freeze when every other cycle had none. We did a 3dt only because of our history of not making it to freeze so we probably didn’t transfer the best of the bunch at the time and I know for a fact that 2 out of the 3 frozen blasts were only 4 cell on day 3 so anything could have happened there. Menopur didn’t give me any side effects but I had a worse recovery from the retrieval than any other cycle…it could have been anything with that though. Good luck with everything!


  3. newtoivf
    Oct 23, 2013 @ 08:45:21

    Sounds like you and hubs need a holiday fast! So hard when going through IVF but maybe you could book a little trip for your 2ww? X


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: