Goodbye? Hello!

So I’m sure some of you (maybe 1 or 2) might remember my struggles with my RE doctor and his difficulty in keeping a nurse. His first one was barely competent and it was always something being missed or forgotten. And I was in the middle of taking my stimulating drugs and being monitored when his original nurse left. Then I over stimulated. I always had a nagging feeling that the two were related. But it became a blessing since I needed emergency back surgery just a few weeks later.

So now I have been trying to get started on a new cycle. Come to find out, my doctor has gone through 2 more nurses since then and he has been doing all the paperwork etc. So I started to feel more and more uneasy about his and my situation. I only get 4 chances at full IVF cycles through insurance in Illinois. I want to give myself and our baby the best chance possible. So I considered the unthinkable, breaking up with him. But I am TERRIBLE at breaking up with anyone. Boyfriends, girlfriends, jobs, you name it! I really like my quirky doctor. But I always knew that a lot of people didn’t appreciate his humor or get it. I could see by the yelp reviews. But I went through an HSG, Polypectomy, 3 Clomid IUI cycles, and one cancelled IVF cycle (due to the over stimulation) with this doctor. I have put a lot of trust in this man already as well as time and effort. I didn’t want to just throw it all away.

But for the past 2 weeks, I have been the one calling and trying to get the next IVF started. His new nurse (I don’t even fucking know this one’s name) hasn’t “gotten the hang of it” yet so my RE has been taking my calls directly and dealing with the insurance company. He kept explaining to me that the insurance company lost documents all of the time because they received them by fax. So they lost some forms and never cancelled out my old IVF cycle and couldn’t start a new one. But they were switching to digital now, so it should be better he said. Well I had to keep calling everyday to get a status update of NOTHING but new of him just not having the paperwork in front of him.

So you can only imagine my irritation at this point. So I started to research the doctor on the CDC website for IVF statistics. It was in an Excel spreadsheet and since I work with spreadsheets all day at work, it was easy to just pull up the spreadsheet and research it all day without being worried that someone could see I wasn’t working at that moment! The spreadsheets compared every RE doctor in the country and I was able to sort it out to just doctors in Chicago and the cycles they performed on women under 35. My doctor didn’t have low percentage rates, but it had fractions instead. And that was because it was only showing SIX cycles. That was a major red flag to me. Either he was lying about his stats, or just didn’t send them in. The kicker is, the other doctor in his office is a world renowned RE with GLOWING reviews everywhere on the internet and in his statistics. So yeah….

There I was on Friday afternoon, contemplating. Should I leave him? Should I test the waters? How would that work because of insurance? Would my original RE find out? Would he be mad? hurt? insulted? vengeful? I know none of it should matter, but like I said, I like the guy. But I love my family more. So I had my husband call insurance to see how we could make the switch. Then I called the new doctor’s nurse and she let me know what I needed to get in order to get a consult with this doctor (And YES he is accepting new patients which means his old patients are PREGNANT). But what should I do about my old doctor? How do I tell him? So I paged him and waited.

He called me back within an hour. He knows who I am and immediately started telling me about the situation of the new IVF cycle. It couldn’t be started because apparently, he never closed out one of my older IUI cycles! Then he started to go on this whole spiel about how they lost the paperwork and should have notified them and they couldn’t start a new one until he sent in the forms blah blah blah. And I sat there and thought “OMG, this is the sign I was waiting for. This is my chance to get out!”. So I asked him if he had submitted for a new IVF cycle yet and he said no. I then asked if the old cycles were all closed finally, and he said yes. So I immediately told him that my husband and I decided that we wanted to take a break since I used all of my sick time for my back surgery and I know that the IVF would require me to take several days off so we may just want to wait a couple of months. All of this is true except for the wanting to wait until next year. I would prefer to start around November, but he didn’t need to know that. He sounded satisfied with that and told me to call him when I was ready to start again. And I was happy that I didn’t need to lie to him.


I called my GP for a referral and I will call my OBGYN for a referral as well. Because the new doctor has an opening for next week. Wish meluck with the new doctor. I am so nervous, but I am also excited ๐Ÿ™‚ The doctor is in the same office as my old one which is bad for obvious reasons but good because the office is so close to my work. Plus my old doctor was rarely in the office unless he had an appt. My husband is excited too. We couldn’t decide if we should make our switch for sure, but when the doctor gave me that out, I knew it was a sign.

I’ll be posting more since I will actually have interesting (at least to me) things to talk about! I hope you are all doing well ๐Ÿ™‚


5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. missymakes
    Sep 15, 2013 @ 07:31:41

    Congrats on being your own health advocate and making the switch! When it comes to doctors, I find that once you even start losing trust, it’s a sign that you need to make a change. There are so many doctors out there, it’s not worth settling!


  2. V
    Sep 15, 2013 @ 08:41:41

    I am SO proud of you! It sounds so easy to switch doctors, but until you’ve had a bad one, you don’t really “get” it. Especially when dealing with RE’s.

    My first IUI ended in tears – the doctor gave me wrong information about my husband’s sperm count (I think he just wanted to get as many IUI’s out of me as possible) and then the nurses forgot about me after my IUI. They had locked the doors and were leaving for lunch!

    I regret never complaining, but I’m not a complainer naturally. I also thought they wouldn’t take my complaint seriously – they’d just dismiss it as me being angry that the IUI didn’t take.

    There is no point to continue seeing a RE who isn’t invested in your family. I wouldn’t worry about the old RE seeing you – if anyone does ask, don’t feel guilty about telling them the truth (if you want to, that is). It wasn’t working out between the two of you, that’s all.


    • jaygore
      Sep 19, 2013 @ 23:40:12

      He is not a bad doctor, I just think he is not in a stable place right now with his practice. But he is a bad doctor for me at this time. I’m glad I get to make this decision while NOT on infertility meds lol! That sounds terrible for your first IUI and I’m so sorry that happened to you. Nurses can be the worst part of this process sometimes. Never worry about complaining. But it is easier said than done. I know at times that I should complain, but I keep my mouth shut. And I am not a pushover. But I guess I just don’t want to risk being wrong. But I realized that this isn’t a bad haircut that I am scared of calling the hairdresser out on, this is my life and my family. I can’t risk not doing something about it.


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