I just…

…can’t blog lately.  I see that so many of you have had your dreams answered and THAT IS GREAT.  But every time I sign in and go to the Reader, I see a pregnancy post and I click away to anything else.  I feel bad.  I feel terrible.  I am not jealous because, if anything, I am happy because that means it is happening for others and can happen for me.  But it just hasn’t happened yet.  And it hurts to be reminded.  It sucks because I feel like I haven’t really been able to try since our first try at IVF was cancelled.  That was heartbreaking but, when I had to have friggin BACK surgery only a few weeks later, I realized I should be thankful I wasn’t pregnant at the time.  My neurosurgeon has cleared me to start trying again, and we have, just not with the infertility doctor.

Honestly, I was really hoping that it would happen naturally this last month, it didn’t.  And even more honestly, I am NOT looking forward to the IVF meds again.

So I am in a selfish and whiny place.  Sorry 😦

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7 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. bebeparler
    Aug 20, 2013 @ 04:44:19

    I know exactly how you feel Jaygore! I’ve been there. Keep believing it can happen for you. Hugs.

    Reply

  2. ambivalentjourney
    Aug 20, 2013 @ 05:52:12

    Be selfish and whiny all you want… you deserve it. We all do every now and then. Good luck with everything and that is great that you got the all clear to start trying again.

    Reply

  3. IVFfervescent gal
    Aug 20, 2013 @ 06:29:32

    Yeah I hear ya, babe. Other people’s good news is tough. It makes me a giddy mix of happysadjealousbitterhopeful.

    Reply

  4. chingsk8
    Aug 20, 2013 @ 09:20:06

    Have faith- your time will come, stay positive and believe in the best

    Reply

  5. newtoivf
    Aug 21, 2013 @ 10:39:51

    Don’t feel guilty hon, you do what you need to do…everyone on here would understand that. Hope you’re feeling better soon x

    Reply

  6. Nicole
    Sep 04, 2013 @ 07:24:29

    I’m sorry you are having a hard time…don’t stop blogging, talk about it…support from your readers can help…xox

    Reply

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