Finally

Finally called my fertility doctor. I don’t know why it took me so long. I haven’t had a period since July 8th, right before my back surgery. (That was fun bleeding all over the sheets since I hadn’t had a real period in over two months. Sorry, Nurses!)

So I’m going to start Provera to bring on my period. But then I have to start birth control pills after my period since my doctor has to request the IVF cycle from insurance. Before all of this, I have to take a HPT. I don’t know if I want to be excited or disappointed in advance.

But I am becoming hopeful again. Helps that I started my antidepressant again. I hope everyone is well 🙂

I just…

…can’t blog lately.  I see that so many of you have had your dreams answered and THAT IS GREAT.  But every time I sign in and go to the Reader, I see a pregnancy post and I click away to anything else.  I feel bad.  I feel terrible.  I am not jealous because, if anything, I am happy because that means it is happening for others and can happen for me.  But it just hasn’t happened yet.  And it hurts to be reminded.  It sucks because I feel like I haven’t really been able to try since our first try at IVF was cancelled.  That was heartbreaking but, when I had to have friggin BACK surgery only a few weeks later, I realized I should be thankful I wasn’t pregnant at the time.  My neurosurgeon has cleared me to start trying again, and we have, just not with the infertility doctor.

Honestly, I was really hoping that it would happen naturally this last month, it didn’t.  And even more honestly, I am NOT looking forward to the IVF meds again.

So I am in a selfish and whiny place.  Sorry 😦

I’m back

But I did not miss the negative home pregnancy tests. I’m doing great otherwise! Still TTC, and will be starting iVF cycle again in the next few weeks. I hope you all have been doing well!