If you DON’T try and DON’T succeed…..

So my first ultrasound after my cancelled IVF cycle is tomorrow.  I’m doing ok.  I am trying not to think about what I would be doing now if everything had gone to plan.  (I would have either done the 3 day transfer yesterday or tomorrow for the 5 day)  My RE, husband and mother were all expecting me to be absolutely crushed on Friday and were shocked when they heard me act normal and make jokes.  Wednesday I was a mess.  I think I already let this cycle go on Wednesday when he first told me of the possibility.  I cried and let it go.  But honestly….it’s because I feel like we never even got to try.  I feel even better than if I had gotten a BFN.  I would have felt worse if we had pushed forward and then the IVF wasn’t successful, I would have regretted it.  This way, we just wasted a month. 

The only thing I have been able to think about is how NOT sick I have been feeling.  I have not felt good like this since before Lupron!  It’s so easy to forget what it is like to feel normal.  I do still have a spacey feeling with my so called “blonde moments”, but I don’t feel like throwing up or throwing my computer against a wall.  I do still feel tenderness in my tummy and especially during sex.  Sex is very uncomfortable.  So that makes me scared that something in there is not going away.  

The RE wants me to get a vaginal ultrasound and bloodwork tomorrow.  He started me on BCP last week and said that he wants to keep track of my follicles going down in size and estridol going back to the normal level.  Because of the tenderness, I am worried about OHSS or even cysts.  I have never had cysts, but it is always a concern with all these fertility meds.

I will let you guys know right after my ultrasound.  Fingers crossed!


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. o3broken
    Jun 12, 2013 @ 00:41:44

    Fingers crossed. If I could cross my toes, I would cross those too!


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