targetthumbWe were in Target tonight, just doing a little clearance shopping to get my mind off of stuff when I saw a few employees around a sweet little boy no more than 4 years old.  He couldn’t find his mom and that CUNT was no where in sight.  Now before you start thinking I am judging her too harshly, read on.  We go on our way but a few moments later we walk by and here a woman swearing up a storm, a young woman around 22 maybe.  She was YANKING this beautiful little boy by the arm and swearing at HIM!  Saying that he was fucking stupid for walking away and she was pissed that she went all the way back to the car looking for him.  I. was.  ENRAGED!  But I know in these circumstances that you cannot challenge the abusive parent because they will only take it out on the child later.  So I looked her in the eye, smiled and said, “I’m so glad you found your little guy safe, he was scared without you”.  She rolled her eyes and yelled at the boy before she yanked him away again!  Like really hard.  Like if you saw a husband pull his wife like that then he would immediately be put in jail.  But everyone stood around and said nothing as she walked away.  Then, in a fraction of a moment later, something came out of my mouth that was very loud and honest.  “You should cherish that little boy, not everyone can have one, you know?”

She didn’t say anything and she just kept walking.  I wanted to cry.  I wanted to grab the little boy and run.  I wanted to tell him that everything will be okay and that he did nothing wrong.  That he is lovable.  I was sick with rage.  I couldn’t stop shaking.  Now, don’t get me wrong.  I never stand by if a dog or child is getting bullied, so this was not just because I had my first IVF cycle cancelled the day before.  But I would have gladly gotten into a fist fight with this bitch today whereas normally, I would just have said something, smiled at the child and walked away.  But I have never said anything just openly in public like that before about my infertility.

Does anyone else?  Do you speak about it in any other way other than hushed conversations?  I think I am getting braver.  It’s easier for me to open up about it because nothing they can say is worse than a BFN.  I am not going to become an infertility advocate and go stand in parades, but I am tired of being ashamed about it.  I have always just been me and this is just another part.  Even when we are successful and have our beautiful child/children, I will still consider myself infertile, just one of the very lucky ones.


4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Melanie
    Jun 09, 2013 @ 13:17:57

    I see what you are saying. I “came out” as infertile almost as soon as we got our diagnosis and it has been good for me, especially because I’ve found a whole new support system in my already existing friends and family. Don’t be ashamed of what you are struggling with–it makes you genuine and authentic. And brave.

    As for myself, I was talking to one of my successful infertile friends about this: infertility gives you a greater appreciation for the children you have. I KNOW with every fiber of my being that I’ll never take my future family for granted.


  2. newtoivf
    Jun 09, 2013 @ 15:50:14

    Good on you honey some people have no idea how lucky they are xx


  3. Nick
    Jun 12, 2013 @ 15:16:54

    I’m quite vocal about my infertility. I’ve been on the news and interviewed by a radio station. It’s not something I keep quiet about. Sometimes when I’m having a conversation with someone completely oblivious to the reality of life and they say something like “When are you having kids?” I usually just say “I have fertility problems, so I don’t know”.

    Or something like that. 😛


  4. Persephone
    Jun 20, 2013 @ 02:37:22

    We had IUI for unexplained infertility which worked first time and my son is now a month old; I still consider my husband and I as infertile. I always will.


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